Bedtime Stories (Part 1)

Bedtime is my least favorite time of day.  I wish I could say it was my favorite.   That it was easy to send both my children off to dreamland each night.  That after I tuck my kids in I get to sit, relax and watch a TV show or two before I go to bed.  It would be nice, it would be sweet but it isn’t so.  We never know what we are going to get each night.  Sometimes, Zoey literally goes softly into that good night, but there are so many other nights in which she doesn’t. In the back of my mind I’m always aware that Zoey could do any number of these things to make this longed for bedtime scenario not so.  She could get out of bed countless times. She can ask for water numerous times.  One night she put a toy baby and Jack from the Nightmare Before Christmas in Hunter’s crib and took his Sleepy Guy (a cute little stuffed panda that I’m trying to associate with sleep for him) and put it in her bed. 

I feel like we’re at her mercy.  As the last thing we want is for her to wake up her brother. When she does wake him up he stands up and cries.  It doesn’t feel fair to let him cry it out.  It’s not his fault that his sister who doesn’t want to go to bed awoke him from his pleasant slumber.  Then Joe and I have to get both kids to sleep.  We get cranky and aggravated with Zoey and our hope for that night’s bedtime becomes a nightmare.

Bedtime has always been difficult with Zoey.  Presently, the whole bedtime nonsense is better than ever considering where we have been but is still far from ideal.  Here is a brief history of Zoey and sleep.

In Utero

When she was still in the womb she was at her most active at night.  I worked in retail and didn’t get home until well after midnight that was when she rocked and rolled in my tummy, keeping me awake even then! 

Welcome to the World

Zoey was 10 lbs 10 oz when she was born.  Needless to say I had a very uncomfortable pregnancy and a C-section was highly recommended.  That first night when I was in a great deal of pain and exhausted but we were both awake.  She was in her clear plastic crib and we just looked at each other, getting accustomed to each other in the wee hours of the night.

Homecoming

For the first month or more her wakeful hours were in the middle of the night.  And no amount of holding or rocking or feeding would put her to sleep.  She was just AWAKE, and we were tired first time parents who didn’t know what we were doing.  Maybe some of this bedtime stuff can be blamed on us.  Maybe some of it’s just Zoey and how she would’ve been anyway—a night owl, like her parents. 

Joe who was working on his teaching credential would give up and do homework at 3 in the morning because he was awake anyway.  On the nights it was my turn with her, I ended up watching TV.  She would be awake for hours.

Mommy, Daddy and Zoey’s Room

When she got older we turned to the “cry it out” method.  I think the longest she cried for over an hour which was heart wrenching.  She eventually worked, but she still woke up at night.  We shared a room with her until she was a little over 2 years old.  At this time we lived in a one bedroom condo that we had bought at the exact wrong time.  We bought it right before the market crashed and we were stuck unable to refinance and unable to sell. 

When she was about 22 months we removed the front part of her crib turning it into a bed.  We did this hoping this would entice her to stay in her bed.  Looking back at this now, I wonder what we were thinking.  We wanted her to stay in her bed, yet we made it easy for her to get out on her own! How was this a good idea? How would we get her to stay there when it was bed time?  We hadn’t thought this through.  But we didn’t look back, just tried to keep her in her bed.  We tried the Super Nanny, where you put them back in their bed and don’t speak.  When this didn’t work after several nights we lost our stamina. Instead we sat next to her bed each night until she fell asleep.  Joe and I took turns sitting with her each night. I listened to audio books and Joe listened to pod casts on our ipods.  Most nights I would squeeze my hand between the slats of the bed because she wanted to hold hands.

A Room of Her Own

We short sold our condo and moved into a two bedroom apartment.  It was just in time too because I was pregnant.  She was confused for a week or so.  She would cry and say she wanted to go home.  We had to explain that we were home, all of our stuff was here now.  We spent hours in her room trying to keep her in her bed.  We literally sat in front of her bed and physically blocked her in her bed.  And she would scream and cry.  Our new neighbors probably hated us.

A Big Girl Bed

We ended up buying her a twin bed again hoping to entice her with something different.  We were going to need the crib for the new baby anyway so it was time for a big girl bed.  She loved her new bed but we still struggled with getting her to stay in it.  We did the Super Nanny thing again.  And after doing it for almost an hour one night her laughing and dancing around put a stop to it.  It was a game to her, she was enjoying it, which made us even madder.  Here again we lost our resolve and gave up.  We went back to sitting with her and blocking her in her bed until she fell asleep.  Some nights we sat there with her for up to an hour.  Sometimes we fell asleep in there.  Once she was asleep we were golden.  We didn’t really have a problem with her waking up at night and coming into our room.  She did this/does this about 5% of the time.

To be continued...