Anxious Me: Part II (Easing Anxiety)

I had been anxious about putting Anxious Me Part I out into the world.  In some ways it felt so personal, but I’m glad I shared it.  I received responses from several people that were grateful to hear they aren’t alone in their motherhood of anxiety.  It’s been great for me to discover that I’m not the only super anxious mommy out there and am in great company!  My quest to talk myself out of myself continues and I looked for ways to ease these icky feelings.  I did a simple google search and discovered many resources to help one ease their anxiety.  I found a post entitled Five Easy Fixes to Ease Anxiety on a website called Positively Positive.  While it isn’t related to parental anxiety and more to general anxiety, it has some helpful tips for us mommies (or daddies) that adore our kids, but hate the anxiety they bring us, to relax.  These fixes are common sense, but a good reminder every once is a while can’t hurt.  Some of the ideas might work better for others then they will for me and vice versa, but hopefully, at least one of them will help us all find a way to let go.

From Five Easy Fixes to Ease Anxiety

Exercise, Meditation, Yoga
Thirty cumulative minutes a day of any type of physical activity relieves anxiety by flooding your bloodstream with feel-good hormones. Exercise also fosters deeper sleep.

Studies show meditation actually changes the brain. Brain scans of regular meditators show increased activity in the left prefrontal cortex (area of brain associated with joy and equanimity). Meditating also creates silence and stillness, increasing mental focus and the ability to stay in the present moment.

Yoga is a perfect hybrid, giving you physical activity AND meditation.

I'm in there in the infamous dress!

Of course exercise is good for you, we all know that, but I don’t have a lot of time to spare and don’t love exercising.  It’s true though, that when I can make myself get up and do it, I feel better about me and life. When I was trying to dump the baby weight I had gained with Hunter (and make myself fit into a bridesmaid dress for my sister’s wedding) I made a point to exercise.  I walked before work, on my lunch break and ran in the evenings.  After doing this for months and watching what I ate, I was able to shrink down to two sizes smaller than I had been before I got pregnant.  Then my position and schedule at work changed and as I could already fit into that bridesmaid dress my exercise routine ceased.  It wasn’t a priority anymore and my time was better spent writing and hanging out with my kids rather than making myself sweat.  I need to get back into the habit again, not only so I can shed more pounds, but so I can work out some of this angst.  I walked a few days before work this week and must admit it felt good to get my blood stirring.  I bet there’s some correlation between the recent extreme rise in my anxiety and my sudden reduction of exercise, so this is a good reminder to get me back on track. 

In regard to meditation, I never slow down enough to make the time to do this, but I’m sure it would help center me.  I don’t know much about it and need to do some research on techniques that might work well for me.

Yoga and me don’t mix.  I’ve tried it before and am just no good at it.  I only get frustrated with what I can’t do and because of this, I know it won’t help me relax.

From Five Easy Fixes to Ease Anxiety 

Aromatherapy
Inhaling essential oils can alter brain activity. Seek out scents that induce calm, such as lavender, jasmine, rose, and sandalwood. Use scent as a part of a calming ritual like a warm bath with lavender oil before bed with a cup of chamomile tea. Also, carry a small bottle with you to use while taking breathing breaks throughout your day.

Super strong scents give me a headache.  Though, I’m open to anything (except yoga!) and may look into getting some relaxing essential oils, but won’t go out of my way to do it.

From Five Easy Fixes to Ease Anxiety 

Breathe. Release. Repeat.
Deep breathing slows the body’s rhythms and restores calm. This is a super effective and completely free way of ritualizing relaxation and being present.

1. Schedule your cell phone to vibrate every three or four hours.
2. Take five deep, relaxing breathes. Breathing in deeply through your nose and exhaling out of your mouth with a sigh. On each exhalation, visualize any tension or fatigue leaving your body.

Breathing, what an important part of living!  Sometimes, though, I feel like I forget to really breathe.  I only notice that I haven’t been breathing when I take a moment to slow down and stop.  When I worked in retail, I often got so busy that my breathing was quick and shallow.  There were many days of the week back then, that I felt like I had no time to breathe.  A week or so ago, I started doing this deep breathing and while at first it made me feel a little light headed, I do feel a calmness come over me as do it.  It slows me down enough to stop my brain from racing and gives me a minute to collect myself.  I can’t see myself setting my cell phone alarm to remind me to deep breathe, but I will breathe and repeat as needed. 

From Five Easy Fixes to Ease Anxiety

Stress Session
Set aside ten minutes a day as your designated time to worry about anything that is on your mind. If anxiety starts to creep in at other times, remind yourself to deal with it during your “Stress Session” ONLY!

While this sounds like a good idea, I don’t know if it’ll work for me.  Can I pocket my worries as they come throughout the day?  I’m not sure, but my goal is to stop worry in its tracks.  I want to be able to get myself through the worrisome thoughts (that I often make bigger than they are) by being more zen and knowing when I need to just let it go.  Though, for larger worries, that I can do something about, I can see how this might be helpful.

From Five Easy Fixes to Ease Anxiety

Herbal Remedies and Therapy (Again ONLY with doctor approval)I have found that about half of the time a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy and natural remedies work just as well as prescription medications and with fewer side effects. However, if natural remedies do not alleviate symptoms, ask your general practitioner for a referral to a psychiatrist for further evaluation. Most herbal remedies listed below can be found at your local health food store.

Passionflower (Passion incarnate)—A powerful herbal relaxation aid with zero side effects. Researchers at Tehran University in Iran discovered Passionflower to be as effective as the anxiety-relieving drug Oxazepam. It comes in capsule or tincture form.

Valerian Extract—A sleep aid that typically works within thirty minutes of consumption and is not habit forming.

Green Tea Extract—Contains the amino acid L-theanine, which produces anti-anxiety effects.

I haven’t tried these remedies and they sound almost too good to be true.  Can they really aid in relaxation and sleep?  I’m intrigued by passionflower and will be on the look out for this.  Valerian extract is something I would love to give Zoey, who has such a hard time going to sleep most nights.  I feel leery about it though, as I don’t want to “drug” my child, even if it’s natural, without getting doctor approval. Maybe I’ll ask her pediatrician about this.

Quote from Five Easy Fixes to Ease Anxiety

“Anxiety and fear feed off each other. They exist because of each other—they are each other’s host and parasite. The more anxiety you feel, the more fear is dominating your life. Sometimes anxiety presents itself because we are afraid of repeating old patterns (ruminating about the past) or of what could happen (projecting fearfully into the future). When we live in the past or the future, we lose the ability to be fully present in the here and now.”

Instead of being present in the moment, in my mind I’m moments ahead, projecting.  Being honest with myself about how I’m feeling and sharing it on my blog has lead me to the conclusion that I’m not so freaky, there are others like me.  This knowledge, as well as, thinking about my anxiety in depth is helping to alleviate some of my anxiousness.  I’m feeling more Zen as each day goes on.  I’m starting to truly grasp that there is only so much I can do and that has to be enough. 

Next week: Part III Zen Parenting